How to win a young lady’s heart

Markandey Katju

Markandey Katju

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Today, 8th March, is International Women’s Day

On this day many people will render discourses and soliloquys on women’s emancipation, women’s empowerment, women’s representation in parliament and state legislatures, Naari Shakti, gender inequality, Beti Bachao Beti Padhao, motherhood, and such other serious claptrap and homilies.

However, I would like to speak in a lighter vein on an issue related to women.

Many young men and boys have asked me how to win a girl’s heart.

Now I am 78 years old, and quite past the age of romance. I was never a Casanova, but must admit I have had my share of experience in the matter.

womenI reply to all these young men that to win a girl’s heart you must never adopt the direct approach. Girls are usually intelligent and discerning, and so will be put off by telling them that they are beautiful, that they have the eyes of a fawn, etc, etc thinking that you are trying to be fresh and too clever by half with them. So instead you should adopt an indirect approach, as in guerilla warfare..

Instead of saying that you are pretty, you should tell the girl that her dress is pretty, or that her dog is lovely, and ask its breed (assuming she has a dog), etc

But the best approach is to recite to her some romantic Urdu poetry, which all girls love.

I am giving some Urdu verses which can be used for this purpose :

1. ”Jab woh jamaal-e-dil-faroz, soorat-e-meher-e-neemroz
Aap hi ho nazaara soz, parde mein munh chhupaaye kyon?”
(by Mirza Ghalib)
women” When she has the beauty which enlightens the heart
And a face that has the brightness of the sun at noon
One who is a burning sight by hersef
Why should she hide her face behind a veil?
(i.e. she can be seen despite her veil because of her exquisite beauty)

2. ”Dashna-e-ghamza jaansitaan naavak-e-naaz bepanaah
Tera hi aks-e-rukh sahi saamne tere aaye kyon? ”
(by Mirza Ghalib)
Dashna means dagger, ‘e’ means of, ghamza means amorous glance, jaansitaan means that which kills (jaan means life, and sitaan means that which takes away), naavak means arrow, naaz means pride or airs , bepanaah means for which there is no protection, aks means image in a mirror, rukh means face,

So the sher (couplet) means :

” Your amorous glance is like a dagger which can kill, and your airs (adaayen) are like an arrow for which there is no protection
Even if it is not your real face but the image of your face in a mirror, who can dare to come in front of it?”

3. ” Yeh kaun muskuraahaton ka kaarawaan liye hue?
Shabaab-o-sher-o-rang-o-noor ka dhuan liye hue?
Dhuan ki barq-e-husn ka mehekta shola koi
Chuteeli zindagi ki shaadmaaniyaan liye hue
Labon se pankhadee gulaab ki hayaat maange hai
Kanwal si aankh sau nigaahen-meherbaan liye hue
(by Firaq Gorakhpuri)

4. ‘Hum par tumhaari chaah ka ilzaam hi to hai
Dushnaam to nahin hai ye ikraam hi to hai
Karte hain jis pe ta’an koi jurm to nahin
Shauq-e-fuzool-o-ulfat-e-naakaam hi to hai”
(By Faiz Ahmed Faiz)

5. ‘Mujh ko to hosh nahin tum ko khabar ho shaayad
Log kahte hain ki tum ne mujhe barbaad kar diya”
(By Josh Malihabadi)

6. ”Main jise pyar ka andaaz samajh baitha hun
Woh tabassum woh takallum teri aadat hi na ho”
(By Sahir Ludhianvi)

Tabassum means smile, takallum means conversation

7. ”Aaziz itna hi rakkho ki ji sambhal jaaye
Ab is qadar bhi na chaaho ki dam nikal jaaye”
(By Obaidull Aleem)

8. ”Raah-e-dur-e-ishq mein rota hai kya
Aage aage dekhiye hota hai kya”
(By Mir Taqi Mir)

You may also sing these songs to the young ladies:
1. Tum apna ranj-o-gham apni pareshani mujhe de do (sung by Radhika Chopra)
2. Woh ishq jo hamse rooth gaya (sung by Farida Khanum)
3. Jab bhi yeh dil udaas hota hai (sung by Mohammed Rafi)
4. Jaan-e-bahaar husn tera bemisaal hai (song by Mohd Rafi)
5. Agar tum mil jao zamaana chhod denge hum (song by Tasawar Khanum)
6. Dil ko hai tumse pyaar kyon (song by Jagmohan)
7. Yeh zindagi usi ki hai jo kisi ka ho gaya (song by Lata Mangeshkar)
8. Beqaraar dil tu gaaye ja (song by Kishore Kumar)

These are just a few examples. There are numerous such verses and songs in Urdu, and once you learn them by heart and can recite or sing them you will attract the young ladies like a ‘sapera‘ before whom the ‘naagins‘ dance. punjab

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Markandey Katju

Markandey Katju

Justice Markandey Katju is former Judge, Supreme Court of India and former Chairman, Press Council of India.

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